


Volleyball Geniuses and Dumbass Monsters

by ProudHaikyuuTrash



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Actually save all of them they are all disasters, All-Japan Youth Training Camp., Atsumu is always the one being made fun of, Gen, Kageyama learns Sarcasm and Depressing humour, Kindaichi is terrified, Komori is the only responsible adult™, M/M, Rivalry, Sakusa has too much fun shitting on Atsumu, They also hate each other, and he's more powerful than ever, but also beautiful friendship, but they are salty bffs anyway, dont worry they are best friends, how do yall think the others are gonna think when they learn sakukomo cousins lmao, not that they will ever admit it, someone save him, they all love each other, they are all friends, they have a group chat, this is canon furudate told me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:15:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23428336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProudHaikyuuTrash/pseuds/ProudHaikyuuTrash
Summary: "Aww,"  Komori coos, "Come here, Mandatory Group Hug before we become enemies for the next 15 hours." He says, opening his arms wide.No one moves and he wiggles his fingers, giving them a stern look.Sakusa is the first one to move, stepping into the wide arms and tucking himself into one side looking so content someone might think that he is wrapped in his favourite blanket. Atsumu follows, arm cautiously going around Sakusa's waist, ignoring the glare sent his way as he rests his head on Sakusa's shoulder. Hoshiumi tugs Chigaya and Kageyama with him as he follows suit.Or Kindaichi witnesses the volleyball geniuses interact in a training camp and we get to glimpse the chaotic friendship these monsters have built up.
Relationships: Hoshiumi Kourai & Kageyama Tobio, Kageyama Tobio & Chigaya Eikichi, Kageyama Tobio & Komori Motoya, Kageyama Tobio & Miya Atsumu, Kageyama Tobio & Sakusa Kiyoomi, Komori Motoya & Sakusa Kiyoomi, Miya Atsumu & Sakusa Kiyoomi, National Youth Campers
Comments: 26
Kudos: 514





	Volleyball Geniuses and Dumbass Monsters

See it starts with a group chat. Komori Motoya, angel on Earth decides that the Youth Campers needs to move past their hostilities and actually work together for a friendlier future considering how all of them are going pro at some point or another and might end up being teammates.

Said group chat goes well for about a day and a half before Atsumu sends a meme and Hoshiumi dissolves into chaos at having someone who _understands_. He spams said group chat with about three hundred something memes before Sakusa throws him out of the group chat and mutes them all.

"Motoya will throw all my masks out if I leave the group chat and I'm as broke as any of you here." Sakusa had sighed during a group call in which Atsumu had pestered him about not leaving the group chat despite his complaints.

It went somewhat well, the group chat, for about the first two months after which Atsumu made a very angry rant about _Osamu being an absolute dickhead_ to which Kageyama replied with a very innocent _you make it hard to not be a dick with you._

To say Sakusa instantly approved of the metaphorical adoption papers Komori had drafted during their week in the camp would be an understatement. One comment dissing Miya Atsumu had landed Kageyama the very special, extremely rare position in Sakusa Kiyoomi's _List of least hated humans._

That's like saying Kageyama got a noble prize for literature—yeah impossible, but somehow it had happened and during a practice match with Itachiyama, Sakusa even had willingly shaken hands with Kageyama—that's like Komori Motoya like privileges just there.

That somehow had set the dynamic for their chaotic friendship group (yeah, friendship, dont listen to Atsumu, he is a lying bitch) and now the five geniuses breath to insult their sixth counterpart.

Being in a group with Atsumu and Hoshiumi meant Kageyama had picked up one or two _nihilistic humour and millennial things. Picked_ really isn't the right word seeing as Kageyama as found his true self in being a, as Atsumu puts it, _sarcastic, little shit._

With that overview now, it brings us to the point where all geniuses are gathered in Shiratorizawa's gym with teams like Seijoh, Datekou, Nekoma and Fukurodani for Golden Week training camp.

Poor Kindaichi had gone into the gym ready to start the hectic day with nonstop volleyball. He is mid stretch by the door when Kageyama enters and then he gets the biggest shocker in his life. He swears Kageyama lives to traumatise the heck out of him.

Kindaichi barely has time to blink and jump out the way before the full force of a certain Hoshiumi Kourai slams into an unsuspecting Kageyama.

To his credit though, the setter barely blink as he brings his arms up to return the very enthusiastic hug.

"Kageyama!" Bird boy extraordinaire chirps, patting at Kageyama's hair like he was an obedient dog, "Haven't seen you in ages, how have ya been?"

Kageyama leans away from the wriggling fingers, trying to pat down his ruffled hair as he says, "Good. I'm kind of trying to avoid my lifelong problems of human interactions but sure yeah, I'm doing fantastic."

Hoshiumi snorts, poking at the taller's bicep as he reprimands him, "Getting sarcastic now are we?" He says, not unkindly, "Best of luck on that, baby crow."

"How have you been?" Kageyama asks wryly.

"Dead inside, dying outside, trying to ignore my problems while they chase me in my nightmares." Hoshiumi sighs, despairingly.

"Is there ever a bigger problem than the existence of Miya Atsumu?" Kageyama says blankly and Kindaichi faintly thinks _that's the most I have seen him talk with anyone outside Karasuno._

"Trust me," Hoshiumi breathes, "That disaster is the reason why I'm still alive; he makes me believe I'm super smart and I'm always grateful for that confident boost."

Said setter squeaks indignantly as he makes his way to the duo, "Rude!"

Kindaichi thinks he reminds him of a certain setter he had the pleasure of playing with last year except with shittier hair.

By the time Kindaichi tunes back into the conversation, Miya Atsumu seemed to have moved on as he now swings an arm around Kageyama's shoulder and bellows, "My favourite people, I hope you are ready to be crushed today."

Hoshiumi yells profanities at that masking the quiet _I am already crushed by my existence as it is but ok_ Kageyama voices out.

"Tobio kun, we don't do depression outside the group chat," Atsumu smirks, "Get yerself together."

"Says the person who is a living disaster himself." The great Sakusa Kiyoomi makes an appearance, famous mask covering most of his face and no.1 libero, teammate Komori Motoya trailing behind.

Once again Atsumu squacks, yells at Sakusa something akin to _shut yer mouth Omi kun_ , but is mostly ignored as Komori manhandles him into the biggest bear hug Kindaichi had witnessed.

"The only good thing about ya, Omi kun, is that ya've got Toya kun as yer teammate." Atsumu pouts, virtually sagging and sinking into Komori Motoya's comfortable arms. Said male doesn't seem to bothered by it, only musses up the mustard strands and squeezes him tighter.

"It's too early for me to deal with this bullshit, excuse me." Sakusa glares at the pile of metaphorical goo that is Miya Atsumu, "Hello Kageyama, throw me some tosses during break and hello Hoshiumi, stop yelling, it's 7 in the morning."

"Fuck you," Hoshiumi says before he grips onto Sakusa's jacket, careful to avoid any direct contact, "If we are all here, you are not running away."

Sakusa sends the short man a withering glare that sends shivers down Kindaichi's spine and he's sure he'll remember that face in his nightmares for nights to come, but doesn't move away. Hoshiumi Kourai looks even more unimpressed, tutting softly.

Miya Atsumu finally lets go off his grip on Komori Motoya, standing straight once again, much more awake and looking less like a disaster of insomnia, stress and snark.

This also means that Komori is now free and his rechargeable arms are available for claim. Hoshiumi doesn't hesitate wrapping himself around the male that screams eternal sunshine.

"Wow all my favourite monsters together!" A male gasps, joining the clusterfuck of volleyball idiots, "Wait no, Atsumu's here."

"Eikichi!" Atsumu growls, almost jumping the male if not for Sakusa pinching his collar and lifting him up only to toss him away. Again, for some reason, the whole dynamic of the group reminds Kindaichi of a certain quartet who wrecked havoc but also kept Aoba Johsai together.

"Disgusting, I can't believe you made me touch you." Sakusa winces, taking out his sanitizer within moments.

"No one told ya to touch me!" Atsumu whines, "Why are yall so mean to me?"

"Entertainment." The five choruses, in perfect synchronisation at that.

"Rude! Rude, jealous gnomes all of you."

"Literally all of us are above six feet." Sakusa deadpans and Atsumu groans.

"Hey, Kourai isn't."

"My dick energy is literally bigger than all of yours combined." Hoshiumi growls.

Kageyama snorts at that, poking at Hoshiumi to force the male to separate from where he had become one with Komori.

"Wait, wait—shit, I'm moving I'm moving."

Chigaya doesn't even stand a chance with the way Kageyama throws himself into Komori earning a surprised _Jesus._

Regardless Komori wraps his arms around Kageyama and pats his head.

"My baby...precious lil blueberry." Komori coos, squeezing Kageyama to him. Then he turns toward Sakusa and says with utter conviction, "Kiyoomi we are adopting him."

Sakusa's brows tilt at a surprising angle, hands forming a gesture with intricate admirable finger work. Kindaichi is honestly awed.

"We are adopting him." Komori says again and it takes Kindaichi a moment to realise _oh that might be some sort of sign language._

"You already adopted Kourai! And Eikichi!" Sakusa yells, the loudest anyone has ever seen him be, exasperation dripping from every core of his body.

"Well you signed the adoption papers already, I don't make the rules." Komori bites out earning an exasperated eye roll from Sakusa.

"Hey, what about me?" Atsumu questions as if adopting three similar aged, volleyball geniuses is completely normal.

"You are my brother in law." Komori says and Sakusa, in desperation flips him the bird. Komori rolls his eyes.

"I will lick this floor than have him as a family member." Sakusa says, voice grave. " _Me._ I'm willing to lick this floor."

"Mean! Mean!" Atsumu growls, "Just wait I'm gonna crush all of you today."

"Wait wait wait," Hoshiumi yells, "Did you two actually get your shits together?"

Komori and Sakusa gives twin confused, blank looks before Hoshiumi narrows his eyes and glares at Sakusa, waving his hands vaguely in some sort of gestures. Kageyama looks very interested, resting his head on Komori's shoulder while he turns to face the masked male with a scrutinizing stare.

Sakusa shrugs and Atsumu and Hoshiumi collectively dissolve into a hissy fit. Kageyama sighs, as if he has given up on existing before whispering something into Komori's ears. Kindaichi wouldn't have believed anyone if they told him humans could turn so red, but there was living proof in front of his very eyes.

"I can't-" Chigaya shakes his head, "If anyone asks, that's why I hate the gays."

"Bro." Komori starts.

" _You_ are gay." The rest choruses.

"We don't talk about that." Chigaya sighs.

Sakusa's phone rings and he takes it out, reads the message and pokes Komori.

"Inou is having an aneurysm, we have to go."

Komori sighs, pats Kageyama's hair as he separates, "No one can do nothing right in this house. I gotta do everything."

"We love you mom." The disaster gays chorus. Even Kageyama looks bloody ecstatic.

"Aww," Komori coos, "Come here, Mandatory Group Hug before we become enemies for the next 15 hours." He says, opening his arms wide.

No one moves and he wiggles his fingers, giving them a stern look.

Sakusa is the first one to move, stepping into the wide arms and tucking himself into one side looking so content someone might think that he is wrapped in his favourite blanket. Atsumu follows, arm cautiously going around Sakusa's waist, ignoring the glare sent his way as he rests his head on Sakusa's shoulder. Hoshiumu tugs Chigaya and Kageyama with him as he follows suit.

Within second, what Kindaichi decidedly calls the Genius Volleyball Disasters' pile takes place in front of his eyes as they pile into Komori's arms to share a hug before separating.

"We are gonna crush every one of you." Sakusa smirks, and just like that the air around the group tenses.

"Not before we crush you." Atsumu smiles sweetly.

"Nope, none of that. We are gonna have healthy rivalries that will _not_ end in us picking fights with each other. We are gonna be responsible adults." Komori tuts, waving his hand in disappointment.

"And pick mature fights on court with a volleyball." Kageyama adds, "Not even you, Komori san, is gonna stop me from serving a ball into his face." Kageyama says, pointing at Atsumu, "I waited for this moment since Youth camp ."

"On court's valid." Sakusa says, "I want to slam a ball in that blond blocker of yours." He says, pointing at Kageyama, to which the setter replies.

"Me too, trust me."

"Victory?" Chigaya says, putting his hand forward, upon which the others put theirs.

"Crushing our mortal enemies."Atsumu says decidedly glaring at Kageyama who glares back, before Hoshiumi thunks him in the back of his head.

"Let's do our best!' Komori says, bumping his hip into Sakusa's.

"Let's try to limit damage to minor injuries." Sakusa sighs, voice deadpanned. "Except if it's Atsumu. Give him a concussion."

"I trust our skills." Kageyama says, voice blank.

"Not us as people?" Komori laughs.

"Even I wouldn't do that." Chigaya says as if it's a fact. Watching their interaction, it probably is.

"Oi!"

"We have the whole dictionary of Assholery and Bad Life Choices; I'm not delusional enough to put my faith in that." Atsumu agrees, Hoshiumi and Sakusa nodding along without a fight.

"Make the best of it children." Komori says as everyone separates and he tugs Sakusa along to wherever the rest of Itachiyama is. Sakusa grumbles but doesn't take his hand back.

"They are so oblivious I feel bad." Chigaya sighs, "Anyway, gotta go or captain's gonna cry."

Hoshiumi says his goodbyes as well, bumping shoulders with Atsumu and ruffling Kageyama's hair before he disappears into the mass of tall volleyball playing teenage boys.

"Let's see who can get the most minus combos?" Atsumu says as farewell, to which Kageyama nods, dangerous glint in his eyes.

Once Atsumu is out of sight, Kageyama rubs his eyes, "I wanna beat him up."

Kindaichi is still reeling from the interaction. Kageyama Tobio being friends with _anyone_ is a big shocker but him interacting with the Japan’s high school volleyball circuit’s No.1 ace, no.1 libero, no.1 setter, the best all rounder in high school volleyball _and_ a powerhouse blocker who is probably one of the best in their year?

Kindaichi can't help the fear that rises within him. The six of them together can wreck havoc and bring chaos.

It's not any better that Kageyama explicitly expresses his murderous intent. Kindaici squeaks out a "Hopefully on a court, with volleyball?" before he can stop himself. Kageyama jumps before registering Kindaichi.

"Who knows?" Kageyama grins, _grins,_ "I think I can get away with it off-court."

"I could tell." Kindaichi says wryly, "I didn't know you talk so much."

"It's the perfectionism." Kageyama mutters, "All of us can play to our full potential with each other and against each other and that just—makes things...like that."

Kindaichi ignores what he hopes is an unintended jab and instead says, "Wanna stretch together?"

Kageyama nods and drops into a lunge, a hungry, wicked grin taking over his features.

Kindaichi briefly prays for his soul—heck the souls of everyone not involved in this mess of volleyball disaster—but a bigger part of his eagerly waits the start of today's circuit.

_It will be entertaining to see these monsters clash._

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Just a couple of crackheads (and Sakusa)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24100513) by [chuuhuahua](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chuuhuahua/pseuds/chuuhuahua)




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